Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Moose Farts and Mopping Me

Why does the weird stuff happen to me? Seriously. Wednesday of last week I had to have two teeth pulled. My stupid wisdom teeth came in wrong. Well I was nervous about it to begin with because I had to be put to sleep and had to sign this paper that said... you know you can have other teeth broken if these are hard to get out, you may swallow tooth pieces, you may have an infection at the IV site, you may die, you may turn into a purple people eater when the anesthesia wears off (yadda, yadda, yadda). I swear they try to scare you half to death before the procedure even starts!!! I had to pump milk for a month to get Brandon enough to last for the 24 hours I couldn't feed him due to the anesthesia. Seriously that kid can EAT! So I take the relaxing pills that I'm supposed to take and DH drives me to the "oral surgeons". Not just a dentist. A surgeon! Yikes. (Refer to my last blog on how much of a weenie I am about blood and icky surgery stuff! LOL)

I get in there and they inform me that I'm going to have to put a second mortgage on my house to get the surgery done. Okay not really but 818 dollars is a lot of money! They take me back and put me in the chair and put this wonderfully loopy gas on my nose. Yum! I'm breathing as deeply as I can hoping to be as knocked out as possible when they do the IV. I hate needles! They cover me up in a blanket, and the big light comes on. Oh boy. Then the doctor comes in. He asks the nurse and anesthesiologist if they heard about Moose gas causing global warming?! He says apparently Norwegian moose toots are causing global warming. They make the same amount of emissions in a year equal to an over 1000 mile car trip! In my head I'm thinking I must be dreaming. I must be asleep. The surgeon is talking about Moose farts! Then he says "I was going to buy a moose but now since I know they are that gassy I don't want one anymore." Is he serious?! Why do you need a moose? That's crazy.... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I was out! The next thing I remember they were walking me to the car. As soon as I was capable (drooling gauze and all) I went to the computer to look it up and here it is!!! http://newsbusters.org/blogs/matthew-sheffield/2007/08/22/norwegian-moose-burps-blamed-global-warming MOOSE TOOTS ARE CAUSING GLOBAL WARMING! I was really afraid that my poor drug addled mind had invented it all. LOL

On a different topic... My kids. Gosh they can come up with some stuff. Jordan is a little parrot. Whatever you say will eventually come out of her mouth, and usually not at the best time. Like when my Mother-In-Law was here and she dropped something and said DAMN IT! Really loudly. My MIL didn't catch it though thank goodness. Well Jordan has taken to repeating the things that Alexis says which isn't funny sometimes because she's picked up saying... Nobody likes me. I hate everybody. Recently Alexis was in one of her moods and was stomping around griping about how the world has it out for her, and Jordan was repeating everything back to her. Very loudly! (Jordan does everything very loudly just like me.) Well Alexis stormed into the kitchen and yelled at me. MOMMA!!! JORDAN WON'T QUIT MOPPING ME! It took me a full 5 minutes to stop laughing and understand that she was trying to tell me that Jordan was 'mocking' her. Hehehe. I swear sometimes I'm evil with the stuff I think is funny, but if you'd have seen how mad she was about being mopped... You'd have laughed too!

Brandon's bellybutton is still gross! We went back Thursday for another check-up and it looks like it's reforming another granduloma. Great! At least we won't have to do another surgery because we know it's not connected to the bladder. It's just gross and painful for him. Poor little dude. Thursday morning was also Alexis' psychiatrist appointment and we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel! After an ADHD med change to methyline and an increase in her bipolar meds she is doing almost 100% better. She's still got an attitude but I don't think that's a medicine issue. I just think she's a diva. LOL Thank God things are getting better. I really appreciate everyone's prayers for her. I just know they are helping.

This past weekend was pretty uneventful in spite of my poor pitiful teeth. Eating mashed potatoes and jello for a week sucks, but hey it could be the newest diet plan b/c I'm sure I've lost weight. LOL Yesterday was wild. Jordan had to go get her handicapped parking permit. She has a hard time walking long distances and is getting too heavy to carry. So we went and did that in between her 3 therapies yesterday. She's really excited to be going to school and they are spoiling her rotten because there are 3 aides and a teacher and only 3 kids. So she's got someone's undivided attention at all times. Something I know she was missing here at home with the new baby.

So that's my update. The two girls are at school and Brandon is asleep and me... well I'm just sitting here listening to the quiet. Amazing!

Fabulous journalling question of the week... Describe family reunions. Who, where, when? Why are they important?

I'm getting to the bottom of the journalling question set I have now. I'll have to find a new set. Anyway. Family reunions. We don't really have an organized family reunion. Although I did go to one on my biological Dad's side of the family where I met a ton of people I that I had no idea who they were and I'm sure they probably had no clue who I was either. I mean it's kinda funny to say... Hey here's Heather... She's the bastard child I was telling you about. LMAO They did introduce me as his daughter which was very sweet. On my Mom's side of the family we all get together for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year which is just awesome!

Hugs to all!
Heather

4 comments:

BB said...

Moose farts? What kind of quack oral surgeon discusses moose farts while extracting wisdom teeth?

I was awake for my wisdom tooth extraction, they did a local anesthetic only. That was a wild ride. All 4 were impacted. Yeeeeouch!

Adriann said...

Stop Mopping Me! LOL!!! Kid's can bring a lot of humor in our lives. That was funny!

I bet it's nice to have it just be you and Brandon for a while. Enjoy it while you can!

Mindy said...

So so so glad to hear things are getting better w/ Alexis. Thhankfully in time for school too.

I don't even know where to start w/ the Moose farts. My first thought was why would you want a mooose?????? UUGGHHH O.K.

When I saw the title to this blog I thought for sure there was going to be a great cleaning story today. Silly me...It's never that straight forward for you.

As for the prompt...We don't really have family reunions. I can't remember ever going to one ever. Or maybe I'm just not invited to them.

Cheryl Wray said...

The "mopping" = mocking was TOO funny!!!!
The things that kids come up with!! LOL
And, yes, taking out a mortgage for dental work sounds about right!!!