Friday, July 27, 2007

Just Breathing.

Today is a good day. The baby is asleep. I'm sleep deprived because Jordan has been up since 1am, but it isn't an exhausted sleep deprived. LOL I finished a new digi LO that got all sorts of compliments, and I was offered another month on the creative team. Alexis is doing pretty well. She keeps repeating things over and over but I'll take that over a temper tantrum any day.

Ronnie has promised to watch the kids so I can sleep tonight. I guess he's trying to attone for kicking me (yes literally) last night so I could get up with Jordan. He had to drive the commuter van this morning and had to get some rest. You know for the longest time he fussed about me going back to sleep after he left for work and said, "Well I get up earlier than you do." As an excuse to tell me how he was SO much more tired than I was. I later found out. On the days he doesn't drive that turkey sleeps the whole hour and a half drive in! He's getting tons more sleep than I am. Can you believe it! Men.

Oh and Jordan had a nightmare about Cookie Monster last night. That was why she was up at 1am. Poor baby is deathly afraid of one of Brandon's Cookie Monster toys. She told me that she dreamed that he was in her belly trying to get her to eat more cookies. Awww. Poor baby. Someone should tell Cookie Monster she already eats enough cookies for 6 people. That's why her nickname is Cookie!

So today I am just breathing. Getting by and trying to relax some. Oh. I found out that they are going to build a new subdivision behind us. Right behind us. So I'll have backyard neighbors. Thank goodness I have my fence now. Who knows if I'll like these people. All though it would be pretty cool if I did. Can you tell I'm a bit of a recluse? And speaking of recluses maybe they'll be less spiders and snakes and wiggly things if my backyard doesn't back up to the wilderness. Ick!

Enough babbling. Drumroll please: Journalling prompt of the day: What do you know about your paternal grandparents? Tell about your relationship with them.

This is not going to be good. Ok. By now you know that I was a one night stand baby. But what most of you don't know is that my Dad was my Mom's best friend's brother, and she was in LOVE or what she thought was LOVE with him. Anyway the stories I hear about my paternal grandparents are not good ones. My grandfather was a raging alcoholic. My Uncles who were also friends with my Dad told me a story about my grandfather coming home drunk and peeing on the stero in the corner. Lovely right? My grandmother was very subdued and was ordered around by my grandfather. Eventually she divorced him, and by the time I met my grandfather he'd been sober for quite a while and had become very involved in the church. He married a younger woman and I have an Aunt who is much younger than I am. My grandmother died of cancer a few years ago. Before she died I got to go stay with her for a week in Lake Charles, La. She was a very sweet and caring person, and I wish I could've known her better. I have a picture of her that I am going to scrap.

Hugs,
Heather

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Pull your self up by your boot straps and keep walking.

So I've been whiny lately. I know. I've decided today I am going to count my blessings to remind myself why it's such a good thing to be me.

Blessing number One: Ronnie... He can be a HUGE ENORMOUS PAIN IN THE BUTT, but He's a really excellent Daddy. He takes very good care of us. He works really hard to get us everything we need and he really has been God's gift to me. Not many people know that I prayed for God to send me the right man. In good times and in bad he is the right man for me!
Blessing Number Two: Alexis... We've been having a really hard time. It's NOT her fault at all. She really is such a sweet little girl. Always wanting to play with her sister and brother. She's so full of life and energy. She enjoys every minute she can to it's fullest. She makes me laugh. She is my scrapbooking buddy!
Blessing Number Three: Jordan... My sweet little goofy girl who doesn't understand that Saturdays are for sleeping in! I just have to look at her and I smile. She's my inspiration. The reason I know nothing is impossible. She's got such an imagination and I love when she includes me in her make believe. She's my beautiful brown eyed girl. I love her belly laugh.

Blessing Number Four: Brandon James... His surgery is scheduled for August 10th. He's my squishy cheeked Bubba. He's got a high pitched squeaky voice right now that gives me the giggles. I love to blow bubbles on his belly and 'eat' his tummy to get him to laugh. He's got the longest skinniest little legs and toes. He's my happy little man.

Blessing Number Five: Lady... Yes I have to count the dog! She's had it rough with her epilepsy and everything but she is GREAT with the kids and good for a cuddle for me whenever I need one. She's such a good dog.
Last but not least Blessing Number Six: Me... Yep I'm my own blessing. I have decided that I am strong and I can handle all of this. God wouldn't give me all of this responsibility if I couldn't handle it (ok so he thinks I am a superhero and can handle anything apparently). It'll all be okay. If I keep my faith and keep trying to do the next right thing (Thanks Maw Maw).

Journalling prompt of the day: What do you know about your maternal grandparents? Tell about your relationship with them.

My grandmother Lelia Florence Head Longman is my hero. She's the kind of person I want to be. Outspoken, Funny, Loving, and so Creative! I spent a lot of time with her growing up because my Mom worked a whole lot. I remember playing while she taught Ceramics classes. She's give the the ceramics that didn't mold well and I'd paint them or scratch them up with the tools she used. And she LET me! She always encouraged me to try things my own way instead of telling me what to do. She let me create things. She taught me how to crochet, and cross stitch and I recently got her in to scrapbooking. She speaks her mind and gets a lot of crap from people because she does so. I admire her for it. Even when she's speaking her mind about me. I value her opinions so much. Good, bad, or in between. She's a mother of four who went back to school to become a nurse. She's an excellent nurse. She loves what she does.

My grandfather Barton Wesley Longman. I have always looked up to him and cared deeply about what he thought of me. I seek his approval a lot. He has been a constant source of strength in my life. One of the people I can turn to when everything is falling down around me and he will help me fix it or hold my hand while I let go and wait for something better to happen. A true Southern Gentleman that NEVER goes outside without his hair combed and sprayed into place. I remember teasing him as a child and messing with his hair to aggravate him. I remember him playing with me. Even though he is a very dignified and reserved man, I remember his snapping his dentures at me to make me laugh. Now he does the same thing to my kids! He's always ready with a hug and he has a dry sense of humor that sets me to giggling time after time.
Hugs! I feel so much better! (P.S. My grandparents are blessings too!)
Heather

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Heather and the Horrible, No Good, Terrible, Bad Day!

Okay. My blog used to be funny. At least to me. A long time ago. Now it's filled with whining. And here I go again. Yesterday we had to go to the surgeon's office again. Brandon has to have a new bellybutton. They have to cut the center out of his bellybutton and re-stitch it closed. So that he will heal. The piece of tissue that's in the center of it now is glandular tissue according to the surgeon and isn't likely to heal ever. Lovely. While they are "in there" they are going to look and make sure that his bellybutton isn't linked some how to his bladder. They think that there is a small connection that may be causing urine to leak out of the hole where it hasn't healed. So I'm very worried about him. There's been no infection so far because I've been cleaning it like crazy. So please say prayers. The surgery is scheduled for August 10th.

A friend of mine commented that she hadn't seen an update on my blog in a while. That's part of the reason. Another part is that Alexis is having an incredibly rough time. This morning she was raging like mad. Furiously angry over the fact that the spoon she wanted wasn't clean. Furious over the fact that I expected her to eat Cheerios for breakfast (She likes Cheerios!). Nothing I did was quick enough, good enough or acceptable. She started throwing things and hitting herself and I had to restrain her from hurting herself or others which just breaks my heart. She sits in my lap and struggles like a little wild animal trying to break free. I was told to hold her until she calms down. Which could be 5 minutes or an hour depending on what type of day it is. The whole time she screamed bloody murder and spit all over me. Screaming how she hates me and she can't calm down. She finally stopped and calmed down a bit but has been defiant all day long. My heart just breaks for her. I try not to get angry with her and view it as an "emotional seizure". Something she has no control over. It's really hard to stay calm but I managed today. Tomorrow is a new (hopefully better) day. I just have to take it one day at a time. Or one hour or minute at a time. Whatever it takes.

The part that saddens me a whole lot is that to Jordan this is "normal" behavior in our house. She never knows if Alexis will be happy or angry or screaming and all of this is taken into stride. She thinks that's how sisters are supposed to act and just tunes her out. Brandon gets hysterical. First because I have to put him down to help Alexis, and then during her tantrum he gets scared from her screaming and he starts crying. He doesn't understand why I can't come to pick him up. He's becoming more jumpy when he's around her. When anyone talks loud he jumps. I feel like we live in a war zone. You never know what's going to hit next. We are walking on eggshells around her. Trying not to provoke her. We even have a code word for it. I tell Ronnie when he's saying something that will make her angry "Don't feed the bears." You know how in parks they tell you not to feed the bears because it could provoke them to attack. Same thing here. It's unbelievable.

Journalling prompt of the day:

What important lesson did you learn as a child? Did you carry any over into adulthood?

In the theme of today's blog already. I learned not to rock the boat. Be accepting and flexible and don't argue. Behave yourself and don't question authority. Do what you are told! Of course I learned these lessons because they were forced upon me. Day after day. I had no opinion before I turned 18. Once I got older I decided to rock the boat hard! And I have been pretty much going my own way since (Ask Ronnie, It can get rather dicey around here if I think I'm being bossed around). I think that's why this behavior with Alexis has me so out of sorts with myself. Because I feel like I'm walking on eggshells again. Trying not to rock the boat and keep the peace. I am taking it personally because I feel like I'm being pushed to do the things she wants me to do just so it'll be okay around here. And really even if I do what she wants it doesn't make her happy. Happiness is an inside job. And a job for her medicine which is so not where it needs to be right now. I don't think any of us are happy right now least of all her. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. All I can do at this point is pray. For all of us but especially for my baby girl.

Hugs,
Heather

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Tag questions! and Journalling prompt!

Pretty good day! Alexis had a psychiatrist's appointment and her med dose is increasing. Brandon is gaining weight so I still get to breastfeed. Jordan is asking to go to school. I hope she does well when it starts up again. Anyone else counting the days until school starts again!?

Tagged by Michelle!

My roommate and I once: Ate spaghetti made with spinach pasta and then drank these huge Screwdrivers out of plastic cups. Spinach pasta is not cute on the side of a building. (ask my roommate!) Ick!

Never in my life have I: Felt happier than the moment when my son was shown to me for the first time.

High school was : Not the absolutely greatest experience. It wasn't terrible though. I had some pretty great friends. (No I'm not talking about you Lisa! JK)

When I'm nervous : I bite my cuticles. I know gross!

My hair : Is awful! It looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket! All of the post baby hormones have it thinning and brittle. So not fun.

When I was 5 : My Mom married my step-dad and my little brother was born. Things have never been the same!

When I turn my head left : I see my bulletin board. Full of ideas for my next scrapbook page and a photo of my grandma who passed away before I got to know her well.
I should be : Scrapbooking. I have two pages due. One for my creative team and one for a circle journal.

By this time next year : Brandon will be walking! OMG

My favorite aunt is : So sweet! She bought me a Cricut cartridge just because.

I have a hard time understanding : Why my daughter's birth parents did the things that they did to them. =0(

You know I like you if : I let you play with my kids. I'm very protective of them.

My ideal breakfast is : Coffee and whatever is lying around. Cereal, Oatmeal, Blah blah.

If you visit my home town : You won't see much. It was devastated by Katrina. Port Sulphur, La.

If you spend the night at my house : My kids will wake you up at five in the morning! But you'll have fun! You may have to fend for yourself for food. I'm tired of cooking. I may even make you cook.

My favorite blonde is : Brandon! I can't believe he's blonde!

My favorite redhead is: Jordan

My favorite brunette is : Alexis and I guess Ronnie. LOL Does the dog count too?

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds : Elephants. That'd be kinda funny. Although the poop would be hell on a paint job!

I shouldn't have been : So quick to drop out of college.

Last night I: Threw up! Hey I didn't feel good. Then I put the baby to bed and read a book about bipolar disorder. I did laundry too. Fun times!

A better name for me would be : DH calls me Bubba. LOL I have no idea why.

I've been told I look like : My grandpa. (Yeah thanks!)

If I could have any car, it would be: I am actually driving the car I always wanted. A 2007 RED Dodge Grand Caravan. It's awesome! LOL I'm the ultimate minivan Mom!

I'm tagging.... Lisa, Adriann, and Martha (if she's reading this)

Journalling prompt of the day:

How did you show your independence when you were a teenager?

Oh Lord! I was the kind of teenager that parents have nightmares about (Lexie, Jordan and Brandon if you're reading this when you are older DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING!!!!!). During High School I was a really good kid. Not so much by choice but because my Step Dad was EXTREMELY strict. Evilly so. When I was 18 he ended up going to jail, and then the party started. Because I had been so cooped up I rebelled big time. I chopped my hair off. I dyed it black. I partied at all hours of the night. Coming home late. One time my Mom told me if I didn't come home for 12:00 curfew that the door would be locked. She locked it and I slept in my truck. I dated a not so great guy and ended up living with him for a year and a half. After we broke up I moved back in with my Mom to raise some more hell. I never slept at night. I would only sleep during the day. I was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad girl. Oh and I dropped out of college after a month of going. Not so smart! And I got a tattoo! And my belly button pierced! All of these things are forgivable thank goodness. I am just glad I didn't do anything worse. Jeez. Like all of that isn't bad enough.

Recently I watched some old video tapes I had of me in Choir. I ended up crying. I was so innocent (to a degree), and I had so much promise. I feel like I've failed that girl. Not that being a Mom isn't awesome because it is. But I had such big dreams. I wish I could go back and tell that girl not to make the mistakes that I made. It's not possible so I have to forgive myself and move on, but it's really hard.

Hugs!
Heather

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Isn't it ironic?

Last night Ronnie had a Dr's appointment. He's been trying to study for his CPA exam and says he's having a hard time. He can't focus and his mind is racing too much to study. Well you know what that sounds like? ADHD. I had him ask the Dr. about it and yep you guessed it. He has ADHD. He's going to be on Adderall. Just like Alexis. It's kind of ironic because he's fussing at Alexis all the time because she doesn't listen and can't pay attention. Well what now Bubba you have the same problem! I really hope the Adderall helps him. I have to go get it at the pharmacy in a little bit but Brandon is taking a nap and we are NOT waking him up. Jordan had a rough night last night and didn't sleep well at all.

Today has been kind of *GASP* calm! I know you don't believe it! LOL Alexis has been watching TV and kinda hanging out and Jordan has been her loud self but has been just kinda hanging out too. No fighting. It's a miracle! My new washing machine is coming tomorrow. Which is great b/c the banging on the washing machine isn't working anymore. Right now it's sitting there with a full load of clothes in a full load of water. Crud. Trying to figure out what I'm going to do with that. Ick!

Ronnie made the comment this morning that after the kids are all in school he thought it'd be a good idea if I go to college. WHAT! Ok I'm excited. I miss learning new things and one of my biggest regrets is not being able to finish college. My grandma went to college late (after her kids were grown). I'd love to go back. I really would like to be an occupational therapist specializing in pediatrics. Really I would. It would be 5 years from now before I could start but I'm excited! Really excited. LOL

Journalling prompt: Do you dream at night? What do you dream about?

Last night I was dreaming about the CT LO I had to finish this morning. LOL Yes I dream about scrapbooking usually. And every now and then I dream some really off the wall stuff. For example, One time (while pregnant) I dreamed that Ronnie and I took the kids to the Zoo and we were walking on a pier in the alligator exhibit (which in real life has very high sides) that didn't have any sides on it. Well there was a gator right next to the pier and Alexis reached down to "pet" it. As she did the alligator comes up to eat her. I grabbed her by her foot and yanked her upside down in the air. As I did Jordan started to go over the other side of the pier and I grabbed her up by her foot too! Then I started running down the pier (hugely pregnant in my dream too) with a kid in each hand upside down and alligators snapping at them the whole way through. And I was yelling at Ronnie. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WANTED TO COME TO THE STUPID ZOO. LET'S SEE THE ALLIGATORS YOU SAID. YEAH HOW MUCH FUN IS THIS! Even in my dreams I'm mean. LOL

Monday, July 16, 2007

Washing Machine Wash Out

My poor washing machine. It's 7 years old and has been with us through thick and thin. Two moves, Three kids, A dog... and it's tired. Lately whenever I turn it on it gets halfway through the cycle and just quits. To get it to start again I have to go in there and SLAM the lid shut. (Yes I found that out by being ticked off when I figured out it wasn't working and I slammed the lid shut because I was mad. See temper tantrums have some benefits!) So it's been kinda working, but I remember before we had a washing machine when I had to drag my clothes to the laundromat before we had kids! I'd be there for hours. It was hot, sticky, and expensive! No thank you. I can just imagine trying to corral all three kids in a laundromat if the stupid thing breaks. (No Alexis, Don't turn the dryer on with Jordan in it!! THUMP, THUMP!!) Fun stuff right? So Saturday I broke down and got a new one. A Whirlpool Duet Sport. Which looks SUPER cool! I love those front loading washing machines where you can watch the clothes washing! I told Ronnie that I wanted it because it saved electricity and water but secretly I want to watch the clothes swish around and see them getting clean! I am so weird. Alexis must take after me. She likes to watch the coffee drip into the coffee pot. So hey maybe this watching clothes wash will keep her occupied too!

Speaking of Alexis... She's been doing a whole lot better. We've instituted a reward system with money and a piggy bank. When she behaves or I 'catch' her being good she gets to put a penny or whatever change I have in the piggy bank. When it fills up she can buy her own toy with her own money that she earned. So teaching monetary responsibility and good behavior. So far so good! I've been reading a book about parenting bipolar children and the parent is supposed to stay as low key as possible. Very hard for me as I am a very emotional person but I've been working on it and it seems to be helping. We are taking one day at a time.

Jordan is doing well. She's been going to tons of therapy and she's looking forward to school starting again. She wants to go play with her friends. Big difference from the first day when I dropped her off screaming!! Brandon's bellybutton is still yucky. I have to make another appointment for him today. As far as him eating. I think he's fine. He's wetting and pooping okay. Last night he was super cranky. I think he's teething! Lovely stuff! We brought the dog for her shots on Saturday too. It turns out she has hot spots that are infected. I swear she's always got something going on with her but she wouldn't be a part of this family if she didn't! LOL

Ok enough blabbing... Journalling prompt of the day: What in your life didn't turn out the way you expected? Are you ok with it or do you wish things would've been different?

Wow where to start on this one. So many things haven't turned out how I expected. There's a saying that says if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans. It's so true. He has his own plan for you and that's what's going to happen. Sometimes I may not understand WHY he's not doing things my way but he's always got a reason.

I remember being so upset when we were having problems getting pregnant. I expected to try for a month or so and get pregnant pretty quickly. It didn't happen. Over the years the infertility treatments had me so depressed. Every month another negative pregnancy test after prayer after prayer. My thoughts ran to... Well maybe I wouldn't be a good Mom and that's why God doesn't want me to get pregnant? Maybe I'm just not good enough? Maybe I don't deserve to be a Mom? Maybe I did something wrong? All of these were not true! I truly believe that we experienced infertility so that we would adopt our two beautiful daughters and then after we adopted them God blessed us with a son. See God had a plan I didn't know about. He knew those two little girls would need us. THAT'S why we couldn't get pregnant. Do I wish things were different? Absolutely not! I am so thankful that he has a plan for us even when it doesn't feel like he's doing things the way I want, his way is much more amazing than my ideas and expectations could ever dream of.

Hugs!
Heather

Friday, July 13, 2007

This CT thing is keeping me busy!

The new creative team has me hopping busy! And all of the kids appointments too. I am so excited for school to start just so I can get a break every now and then. I was so stressed out last night after bringing Brandon for his shots. They want him to go back to the surgeon. When we got to the Dr. it was STORMING raining. I mean coming in sideways. I had three kids, one me, and one, umbrella. Ummmmm... Ok. I threw my backpack over my back and grabbed the baby! So far so good. Then I told Alexis to unbuckle and wait by the door. I had to wake Jordan up. She had just fallen asleep! You can imagine how happy she was. She told me to "leave her alone". So I grabbed her in the other arm, and told Alexis to shut the door. I staggered to the overhang trying to hold an umbrella and two kids and Alexis' hand somehow. We finally made it. I set Jordan down to close the umbrella and she promply threw a fit and SAT in a puddle of water. Right in front of the window where everyone could see her. (I found out later that everyone was talking about the little girl who FELL in the water. No people she was having a tantrum!) Anyway we got in and waited in the waiting room for an hour. My kids are not good waiters.

Jordan was running in circles, playing with the trash can, and hollering HUP TWO, THREE, FOUR at the very top of her lungs. Like she's in the army. (One can only wish she had that much discipline) And she keeps opening the door. She very lovingly patted someone elses baby and made him cry. (he wasn't hurt but he was startled because he was trying to sleep) I just couldn't get there fast enough to keep her from "petting" him. Alexis was her usual Chatty Cathy self telling everyone in the waiting room what kind of underwear she was wearing and how Brandon is stinky when he poops (REALLY stinky).

When we got back to the room we had another 20 minutes of waiting so I decided to take them all to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom one of the nurses (I'm sure she thought she was helping) gave them all pinwheels. Well my children are not content to blow on them and watch them spin. Alexis was spinning in 40 mph circles and Jordan used hers as a crude sword and began stabbing Alexis in the back with it while she was spinning. Brandon at this point is hungry and making his MMMMMMMMMMMM noise. (That means if you don't feed me in the next 10 minutes WATCH OUT) We get to the bathroom. Alexis is tired of being stabbed with the pinwheel so she's yelling at Jordan. Jordan's back to yelling HUP TWO, THREE, FOUR and now she's saluting us with her sword/pinwheel by bopping herself in the head. All of the sudden Alexis decides to get her Jordan back for hitting her and they start smacking each other with the pinwheels. I ignored them for as long as I could but it started looking like a fight scene from Pirates of the Carribean. So I figured I'd intervene before someone lost an eye. (Argh matey an eyepatch for us all!)

I carry/push/drag them all back into the exam room and a while later the Dr. comes in. I'm standing there at the table with the Dr. and I hear Alexis say... (Yeah Cookie turn it off!) and as I turn to say NO!! It goes dark. She turned off the lights. Alexis pipes up... I onliest told her to do it Mom I didn't do it!!! I find the switch, get it back on and order them to sit on the bench and DON'T MOVE! Brandon gets his shots and we leave. But not before the Dr. informs me that B is losing weight. I have to go back in a week to make sure he is gaining weight or I won't be able to continue breastfeeding him. The Dr. has the nerve to inform me that stress can decrease milk supply and ask me if I'm stressed. Lady you have NO IDEA! LOL

Alexis is doing better today. Adding the Adderall in seems to have made a HUGE difference. I'm so very thankful. It's been a quiet decent day!

Journalling prompt of the day: Are you crafty? What crafts do you enjoy doing?

Ya'll already know I'm a scrapbooker. Paper and digi! I love, love, LOVE it. I also do cross stitch and I like to pretend I can sew on my sewing machine (but it's just pretending. I kinda suck at it!) I also like making little arts and crafts with the kids.

P.S. Comments make me happy! Tell me what to write about tomorrow. Talk to me people!!!! LOL

Thursday, July 12, 2007

More medicine and Dr. appointments!


Good news! I am officially on the creative team at laura18k.com! Whoo hoo! To the left is my first LO I did for her.


This morning Brandon woke up at 5am! I was supposed to get to sleep until 6! Oh well such is life I guess. Yesterday he had his ultrasound of his little icky bellybutton. The poor little man! Thank goodness it's not hurting him. Because they sure are taking their sweet time figuring out what's going on! During the ultrasound yesterday they called the radiologist to read it while it was being done because his problem is so unusual. He says he doesn't see a pocket of infection or anything like that. They suspect that his bellybutton and his bladder may be connected. This would require surgery to fix. Today i go to his pediatrician in a little while to get his 4 mo. shots and the results of the ultrasound and hear what we do from here.


I also went to the dentist yesterday. It was the first time I've gone anywhere by myself since the baby was born and it felt weird! Turns out I have to get two teeth pulled. Yay me! So not fun. And the Dr. asked me how long I plan to breastfeed (because I have to be put to sleep for the surgery and will have to not breastfeed for 24 hours) and I said until he's a year old. He made this sarcastic comment and said "Yeah right I give it 6 mos. You'll give up when he gets teeth! This was the first time I'd ever met this man. How rude! The only reason I'm getting the surgery (which will cost me 800 dollars ACK!) through him is that he has a great reputation as a good oral surgeon.


Today we had a psychiatrist's appointment for Alexis. She has been sooo very hyper. One day this week was circle day. She spun in circles for hours. Everywhere she went she was spinning. And she wasn't still when she fell down. She figeted until she could get up and spin some more. She's in the manic phase of the bi-polar mostly. If we tell her no though she goes into a huge fit. We are walking on eggshells. I called the mental health unit in our area to see about getting her some additional therapy. Something. So I told the Dr. everything that was going on and he suggested that we put her back on the Adderall for a while b/c the hallucinations could've been from her being bipolar and not a side effect from the Adderall. So she's back on it and we are supposed to watch for hallucinations. Jeez.


Journalling prompt: Do you like to travel? Where have you been?


I love to travel. I don't love the travelling part. I love when we get there and the fun starts! I've been to Little Rock, Arkansas.... Pigeon Forge, TN... St. Louis, Missouri... The Cayman Islands, Cozumel, Mexico... Jamaica... and Disney World twice... Gulfport AL... Mississipi... Florida... Talladega, AL... North Louisiana. All over the place. I'd like to travel more when the kids are older. Right now they aren't exactly travel friendly. LOL


Hugs,

Heather


P.S. Leave me a comment and tell me how pretty I am today! LOL

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Spider Man and an Oldie but a Goodie

Well this weekend was certainly eventful, but I know you don't expect anything less than that! Brandon's bellybutton opened up AGAIN. We went to the pediatricians office and they sent us to an emergency room over an hour away where they did the same thing that they do at the pediatrician's office (put silver nitrate on it to chemically burn it shut). I sat there for 6 hours on Saturday. The kicker? All of the Dr's kept saying. I have no clue why it's doing that let me ask my superior. Lovely. We go back for another consult next week with a surgeon. I'm praying it heals before then.




About a week ago Ronnie was out in the shed getting the lawnmower out and realized it was FULL of spiders. He called me out there to look at this HUGE spider. I told him to kill it! So he got a plastic kiddie bat and smacked the living daylights out of it. Well when he did it looked like some sort of science fiction movie. HUNDREDS of spiders started running around from where he'd smacked the big one. Apparently it'd been sitting on an egg sac. We both were FREAKING out! He got what he needed and shut the door FAST. So then after that we talked about it and he decided to take the shed down (It'd been damaged in Katrina anyway) and store his stuff on the carport until we could get a better (safer) shed. Sunday he went about taking it apart. I watched for the first few minutes and then took Brandon inside because it was HOT. Lousisiana in July. Not fun. So after about an hour I go check on him. He's got the plastic bat nearby and every now and then stops to smash a spider. It was gross. Poor man. He was so jumpy. And who can blame him. He actually saw BLACK WIDOW SPIDERS in my backyard. It's enough for me to not want to let the kids go outside at all!!!! Jeez. Funny story though. He was carrying the shop vac to the carport when something fell on his hand and he THREW the vacuum cleaner four or five feet because he thought it was a spider. It's kind of comical when you think that he's 6'4" and afraid of spiders. I am terrified of spiders though so I do have to thank him for being my hero, my Spider Man!




And yesterday was therapy day folks. Jordan has hippotherapy (horse) in the morning and she got to ride in a big girl saddle instead of on a blanket. She was IMPRESSED with herself and kept smiling and waving. See picture... Then we headed home. On the way home I was listening to a pop station and it said "Now for a blast from the past an oldie but a goodie." And Mambo Number 5 started playing. Ummmmm. Mambo Number 5 was popular in my senior year of high school. It's an oldie? That must mean I'm *GASP* old! This really upset me. I was traumatized. Jeez Louise! Add that to the crow's feet and I'm almost over the hill! LOL


Yesterday afternoon I made the mistake of trying to take the kids to the library after physical and occupational therapy. NEVER AGAIN. Okay maybe sometime again but not anytime soon! The baby was crying. Jordan was yelling to get out of the stroller. Alexis was taunting Jordan that she couldn't get out of the stroller. It was a nightmare! Then after we got out of there I put the stroller in the back of the van and promptly shut the door on the wheel of the stroller and dented it. Now it probably won't roll straight. Did I mention it was raining? Did I mention it there was a ton of construction on the street and it took me forever to get home? That'll teach me to try to read. Phooey! And Brandon screamed all the way home. He doesn't mind when we are moving but if you hit traffic and you have to sit still he hollers.


I have a new digital LO to show you all and I applied to be on a creative team this morning. Wish me luck. =0)


Enough rambling: Journalling prompt of the day.... In honor of how stinkin' hot it is here. What is your favorite season? Why? What do you like about each season?


Well let me just say it's not Summer!!! It was 101 degrees here yesterday. While I was doing all of that crazy errand running. And I forgot to shave my legs this weekend with all the insanity going on so I wore long pants. Yikes. What a mess! I hate Summer. It's so hot. The kids don't want to go play outside and I just always feel like I'm melting!!!!! The only good thing about Summer is that the kids are out of school and some days (yesterday) I begin to wonder if that's a good thing. LOL My favorite season would have to be the Fall. I love buying school supplies and the weather becomes tolerable and there's Thanksgiving which is always awesome, and you get to look forward to Christmas. The kids like to play outside again. All in all it's wonderful! Winter is nice too. I love snuggling up with a blanket and hot chocolate. Seeing the Christmas tree up and lit. The kids bundled up so much they look like miniature marshmallows. So cute! I love visiting with my family at Christmas time and lets not forget PRESENTS! And buying for the kids. Anticipating how much they'll love their gifts. Fun stuff! Spring is pretty cool too when the new flowers start coming in and the birds start coming out early in the morning and singing. Pretty awesome stuff! No matter how rough life gets it's the little things that make things worthwhile! =0)


Hugs,

Heather


P.S. Leave me a comment! I don't bite! =0) NmLady- Thank you so much for that website you left in my last comment section. I went and checked it out and it looks really helpful.









Friday, July 6, 2007

Adjusting to the madness.

Well today hasn't been wonderful, but it hasn't been terrible either. I guess it's good to have a reason why Alexis acts the way she does. I ordered two books today from Amazon.com about bi-polar disorder in children. I really hope that I can find some strategies to deal with her behaviors. Today has been kinda laid back. I read on the Internet that this medicine takes 4-6 weeks to work effectively. I hope we see some improvement soon. It's scary to see how angry she gets sometimes.
I'm going to keep this entry short b/c I'm working on a scrapbook page. It's quiet for a minute so I'd better take advantage. Journalling prompt: Talk about your family traditions surrounding Halloween.

My family growing up always went trick or treating. We'd dress up and have a bonfire to roast hot dogs and marshmallows and invite all of our friends over. We dressed up in very strange costumes. One time my brother was a pirate. In full pirate costume with eye patch and everything and decided at the last minute that a clown wig would complete his ensemble nicely. So he was a clown/pirate. One year I decided to go as a dead witch. I wore my black floor length nylon nightgown and painted my face white with fake blood dripping all over. I added vampire teeth to add to the effect. Strange huh? When we'd go up to houses people would say what a nice ummm costume you have there. LOL As I've gotten older and the world has gotten a bit more dangerous Ronnie and I made the decision not to let our girls trick or treat. He never went trick or treating as a child and didn't really miss it. So we usually spend Halloween as a family. Going out to eat or something fun. I'd like to restart the bonfire tradition even if we don't actually let them trick or treat when they are older and know not to fall INTO the fire. I'll get them to dress up too. I think Jordan would make a cute fairy/firefighter. =0)

Hugs,
Heather

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Oh man.


My 5 year old sweetheart of a daughter was diagnosed as bipolar this morning. The Dr. had taken her off all of her meds to see what would happen. She had such extreme highs and lows. One minute everything was wonderful and she wanted to hug you and she was super hyper and the next minute she "hated everybody", was going to "get rid of herself" and would have screaming and crying fits. We've suspected she was bipolar for a bit now but to have it confirmed is awful. This is not a fixable condition. This is something she will deal with for the rest of her life. To top it off I had to sign a release form for her to take the medication she needs. It can cause all kinds of side effects and we will have to watch her very closely. I am praying that this medicine is okay for her and is what she needs.


I have mixed thoughts on giving her the medicine because when I was around 18 I was MISdiagnosed as being bipolar. I actually had post traumatic stress. I took the medicine they gave me and it made me very tired and unable to feel emotions half of the time. I don't want that for her. The Dr. assured me that the meds will not do that to her if she is truly bi-polar. This whole situation makes me so ANGRY! I am furious at her birth mom for using drugs while she was pregnant! I am furious that she was neglected and not given the kind of love that would make her emotionally stable today. I feel so helpless. I am her Mom and I can't fix it. And it KILLS me. I would do just about anything to make her okay. Now I'm going to start doing research and try to find out just where to go from here.
Journalling Prompt: Why do you think God put you on this earth?
I would usually have a smart aleck response for this. He put me here to drive my husband crazy. Or to entertain my neighbors. But I'm not feeling so funny today. Honestly I think I am here for the same reason everyone else is. To do the best with what they were given and to learn through living. I have to believe that he placed me in both of my girls lives for a reason. And that we didn't get pregnant right when we started trying BECAUSE he meant for us to adopt Alexis and Jordan. I still have a lot of faith in God and his unknown plans. Even though life hasn't been easy. There sure have been some beautiful parts that make it all worthwhile.
Hugs,
Please pray for Lexie for me.
Heather

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

New Digi Scrap Page and Journalling Prompt


This past weekend was pretty quiet. Ronnie cut the grass. We ALL went swimming in the kiddie pool. The kids found that hilarious. Brandon and I made a quick appearance at a friend's birthday party, and I cleaned up around the house. I also went jogging again with Alexis. She did much better this time. She didn't even fuss once. I think she was glad to get out of the house just her and I without all of the other kids. I know it was nice for me. Brandon's bellybutton saga continues... it looks like there's more pus so we'll bee heading BACK to the doctor. Yay! I hate going to the Dr! Have I mentioned yet that August 10th school starts?! Only 50 times right? I need some peace! I made a new scrapbook page about Jordan's birthday. It's a digital layout. I'm learning so much from all of these tutorials from the web.
Alexis has been very interested in breasts lately. I guess it's because I'm breastfeeding the baby. She keeps lifting her shirt and checking if hers are growing. Anyway I got the giggles so bad the other day when she lifted her shirt and pointed to them and said. "Hey Mom my these are growing!" Your "these"? I realized then that I'd never given her the proper name to call them. I explained that they were called breasts but it appears to be too late. Every time she talks about them she calls them her "these". And the best part... was the other day when she lifted up her shirt in the middle of Applebees at dinner with her grandparents and Aunt and announced to the entire restaurant that someday she was going to have "these" like her Mommy's. Ahhh the joys of motherhood!
Today's journalling question........ In honor of the Fourth of July... Are you patriotic? What makes you feel the most pride about your country?
I can say I'm patriotic. I get all choked up when I hear the Star Spangled Banner sung before the NASCAR races. (Told ya I'm a redneck!) I love the awesomeness of the Fourth of July with bar-b-ques and fireworks. What makes me feel the most pride is when I think of all the servicemen and women in Iraq serving their country. I have a great friend I met on sb.com who is deployed right now and writing on her blog about the war. Her husband is home taking care of her daughter and she just had a near miss. Her tent was hit by a mortar and one of the guys she was sitting next to was SERIOUSLY injured. Whether you agree with the war or not these people are out there on the front lines serving us. Because they were ordered to. I will never understand how protesters can harass soldiers. It's awful! So while you celebrate tomorrow PLEASE don't forget to say a prayer of thanks that you are free to celebrate! And pray for our troops. They need all the prayers they can get.